Give it to me straight, doc

For the past 36 hours or so, I have been suffering from muscle aches, a fever, the chills, coughing, an inability to sleep for more than two hours at a time and an insatiable craving for sweet and sour pork. You don't suppose ...

And here's some cheese for your dog

There are a number of reasons I find Los Angeles an attractive place -- the Hollywood Hills, Venice, Topanga Canyon, the ocean. The are other reasons I wouldn't want to live there -- too spread out, smog and the constant threat of fires, mudslides and earthquakes. Now you can add this as a major item in the "No to Los Angeles" column.

Ordinance? We don't need no stinkin' ordinance

Maybe if Leona Helmsley had owned a hotel around these parts, the Dallas City Council might not have had to act so decisively to sterilize all those furry critters. Maybe the city could have solved its budget deficit and named the proposed convention center hotel the Dallas Helmsley in return for a bone from her estate.