Tony minus Jessica

I want to publicly thank my media handlers for keeping my name out of these stories about the Jessica Simpson-Tony Romo breakup.

The Longest Day

"I distinctly remember because the whole time he kept calling me 'Kraut' and it was several days later before I found out why."

L.A. prosecutors finally bag one

Phil Spector was sentenced today to 19 years to life in prison in connection with the shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson who was shot through the mouth at Spector's Los Angeles mansion six years ago. The sentencing resulted in this quote from deputy District Attorney Alan Jackson:

"If you commit crimes against our citizens we will follow you and prosecute you. And no matter whether you are famous or wealthy, you will stand trial."

Notice he didn't say "you will be brought to justice," because his office has a poor track record when it comes to meting out justice for celebrities (see O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake). And even this time it took his office a couple bites at the apple before they could swallow -- Spector's first trial ended with the jury deadlocked 10-2 for conviction.

According to the AP story on the sentencing, Spector's child bride (pictured top right) said "I've lost my husband, my best friend. I feel that a grave injustice has been done and from this day forward I'm going to dedicate myself to proving my husband's innocence." Sure. Fine. Whatever. She'll undoubtedly join Simpson who would be searching high and low for the real murderers of his wife and her friend if he wasn't doing hard time himself for an unrelated crime. What do you think the over/under is in weeks before she files?

Of course she has other options. She might get a nifty sum by selling the Alhambra mansion but then she might turn it into a ghoulish museum. She could even conduct the tours hereself:

"And over here you can see the original blood spatter patterns caused when the bullet smashed through Lana's skull. And in this room you can see footage of Lana's most famous film, Barbarian Queen. Then we'll proceed to the master bedroom -- the room Phil was unable to coax Lana into -- even though Phil's first big hit record, To Know Him Is To Love Him, is piped constantly through the sound system. Because of the times I spent with Phil right here in this room I can personally vouch for the fact that he never lost that lovin' feeling."

Yup. I smell a real money-maker there. She can apply the proceeds to the Simpson-Spector Defense Fund or perhaps some Lakers season tickets.

Who really leaked "Wolverine"

A high-quality, full-length work print of the movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine appeared on line Tuesday evening and, although 20th Century Fox had the film removed from that first Web site, it continues to pop up on various file-sharing sites.

But how did it get onto the Internet in the first place? I'm hearing reports that this may all be part of some grand insurance protection deal. These reports say the movie is a dud, almost on the level of the recent Watchmen, but that the studio has insurance to protect them against box-office failures created by events other than the picture itself, i.e. making it available for free on-line.

Stay tuned.

Perhaps there's Hope in Hollywood when it comes to casting women

Actress Hope Davis made some news recently when she turned down the role of a mother to a son that would be played by Johnny Depp. In fact, she not only turned it down, she said she was furious she was even offered the role. Why? Because she's a year younger than Depp.

This is obviously not the first time there has been this kind of discrepancy when it comes to casting men and women in films today. It wasn't that long ago that a 29-year-old Angelina Jolie played the mother of Alexander the Great, played by 28-year-old Colin Farrell. Six years after she played Tom Hanks' love interest in Punchline, Sally Field was relegated to playing his mother in Forrest Gump. Lea Thompson and Michael J. Fox were both 24 when they were cast together in Back to the Future. She played his mother in the film. Elizabeth Taylor was four years older than Dennis Hopper when she played his mother in Giant.

I guess in Hollywood, women age faster than men. But something needs to be done about this casting discrepancy (Jack Nicholson was 26 years older than Helen Hunt when they made As Good As It Gets.) Perhaps Ms. Davis' adamant refusal will give other actresses hope.

Our new digs

We can make this work. I'm talking about the best time-share plan available. This place has, from what I understand, more than 100 rooms (even the owner doesn't know for sure), but you take away the media room (with the theater screen that rises from the floor), the beauty parlor, the barber shop, the gift-wrapping room (Trust me. I'm not making this up. The house has a gift-wrapping room.), the wine cellar and the wine-tasting room -- take away all the extraneous stuff and I'm betting you still have at least 60 rooms that can be made available as luxurious sleeping places.

Now you have 52 weeks in a year so 60 times 52 is 3,120. Now divide 150,000,000 by 3,120 and you get 48,077 (rounded off). That's right, for a measly $48,000 plus change you have the right to spend a week a year for the rest of your life in the largest and, I'm sure, the more luxurious home in Los Angeles County. Then, for the pittance of $5,000 for the week you choose, you can be a privileged guest (the price includes all meals, providing you come to the dining room at the prescribed meal times) at this palace located just as bunny's throw away from the Playboy Mansion. We're talking annual vacations you and your family will always cherish and look forward to.

(By the way, I sign the management contract to handle the deal, and live on the estate rent free and, if there are any problems, you can find me out by the pool over there on the right. I'll be the one with a Manhattan in my hand.)

Who wrote this about Gene Hackman

"As we moved into the main course, it was as if a cosmic wind enveloped us. Some giant space magnet was pulling us together. We didn't finish the meal. We went upstairs, flew into bed and made love. It was epic. And the next morning, Gene went back to his film and I went back to mine. I haven't seen Gene since that night, but I remember well the feisty lad he was."

Mazel Tov

I'll sleep a lot better tonight knowing this.

Don't plant that water resistant plant here, podnuh

It's a Wednesday City Council agenda day today and I've got WRR on in the background listening to a bunch of folks on the council who try to "out-hero" their colleagues. What I haven't heard -- at least not yet -- is the usual criticisms of the city's Code Compliance department.

That's not to say Code departments are not in the news. Take this story from today's Los Angeles Times that tells the story of a homeowner who thought he was wasting too much water on his landscaping, especially when the area was experiencing a drought. So he put in what folks around here called xeriscape landscaping. He did not reckon with the wrath of his local Code Nazis, however, who descended upon him in full fury.

That also reminds me that earlier today that I received a news release from the City of Dallas promoting its "green" campaign and urging me take a cooking class instead of taking my sweetheart out to dinner, to plant a tree in someone's honor, adopt a pet and, yes, plant water resistant shrubs around my house this Valentine's Day. I'm betting no one in Southern California got a release like that from their city government.