Screenings at the Cannes Film Festival

I know a lot of you are planning your vacations around the Cannes Film Festival (and, if you are: TAKE ME WITH YOU), but are thinking "I can't spend an entire fortnight there just waiting around for the one film I want to see." So, as a public service, here is your schedule for all the films that will be shown at Cannes, where they will be shown, and when. You can thank me for this service while we're sipping cocktails at Dennis Hopper's birthday party or one of the other major events we'll crash once we've arrived. Plus, I know the place in Cannes that serves the world's best creme brulee.