Mad Moon Rising

Son, the reason I wanted to have this little chat is because it's getting to be about that time in a man's life when he must pass on some of the responsibilities of being a citizen of Laguna Niguel on to his first-born. Of course you know all about the city commissions, the business watch, and the citizens academy.

But now I gotta tell you about our annual July 11 festivity. You see, son, beginning next year I am appointing you to take my place in this event. What you'll do is head down to the train tracks west of town and there along the chain link fence, you'll drop your drawers and point your butt toward the passing trains.

Now, don't look at me that way, son. You won't be alone out there. Why, just two years ago, about 8,000 thousand folks came out for the fun. Course, things did get a bit rowdy and Sheriff Ted did have to put the kabosh on things, what with all the drinking and people running around without their clothes on and having sex right out there in the open. Can't have none of that, not in Laguna Niguel we can't.

Wait! Come back, son! Why yesterday we had around 400 people out there, some of the most gawd-awful ugliest bee-hinds you never did see. Why even old Granny Parker dropped her BVDs as that old train rolled by.

I know, I know. No one cares that much about seeing Granny Parker's bee-hind. In fact, I'll bet those folks in the Amtrak's dining car dang near lost their victuals over seeing her out there. But, then, Tiffany, was out there too. You know. Tiffany, that saucy little blonde waitress from over there at the Savannah. She didn't have to drop her drawers. She wore this short little skirt and when the dang train came by, she raised the hem of that garment and, by golly, she wasn't wearing anything -- not a dang thing, mind you -- underneath.

Hell, son, we've been doing this since before you were even born. It all started back in '79 -- some say it actually was a July 11th. The way I heard it, K.T. Smith got drunk one night in Mugs Away Saloon offered to buy a drink to anyone who would "moon" a passing train. And, dang it, if we haven't been celebrating that night ever since.

So beginning next year, son, it's going to be up to you to preserve the family name. I know I can count on you to make us all proud. Look, this here Web site, will tell you everything you need to know.

And just remember, son, there's a reason why folks around here say "the moon never sets on Laguna Niguel."