News Notes

1. This may seem like a long sentence, but in reality he will be eligible for parole in November of 2457.

2. I'm trying to find out what part of "preserve and protect" this guy doesn't understand.

3. Back in my day, we got it with a ping-pong paddle, but I can't believe that these guys can't decide whether being hit with a canoe paddle constitutes child abuse. Of course it does.