DVD REVIEW: "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Geoffrey Rush, Keira Knightley, Johnny Depp

The one thing the first two "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies had going for them were that they were fun, even funny in parts. They made no sense whatsoever. I have challenged many of my friends to explain the plot of the first film and no one really has. But it didn't matter, because the films themselves didn't take themselves seriously. It was appropriate, I think, that the idea for the franchise sprung from a ride at Disneyland/Disneyworld. You don't go on a ride at an amusement park expecting to find a plot. You go expecting to have a good time.

That's why "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" is a disappointment. It's just as incomprehensible as the first two, but this film really goes wrong by taking itself seriously, as if it wanted to be "Master and Commander" and not a live-action cartoon. It also makes the mistake of thinking its audience really cared about everything that happened in the first two films and that these movie goers took notes during these films. I say that because if you see this film without seeing the other two you will be totally lost about what is happening on the screen and why. I did see the first two and this one still had me confused.

Johnny Depp also seems to have lost sight of Jack Sparrow, that unique pirate character he created in the first film and successfully re-created in the second. Sparrow was that rare pirate who ran from a fight, who tried to avoid confrontation at all costs and assumed the persona of the bemused commentator on the movie's events. The last we saw of Sparrow was when he was gobbled up by a sea monster. When I saw that at the end of the second film, I wondered how the filmmakers were going to get him out of that predicament.

In a series that requires its audience to have a lengthy memory about its characters, it somehow forgot about this monster. When we first glimpse Depp, 30 minutes into this two hour and 49 minute mishmash we see him not in the belly of a fish but on a desert island somewhere. Huh? We also see a completely different Jack Sparrow. Now he's all serious, hellbent on taking on the forces of the East India Trading Company. This is not Johnny Depp as Keith Richards, but Depp as Errol Flynn. (So, to compensate, the filmmakers role out the real Keith Richards in a brief, otherwise unnecessary cameo, as Jack's father.)

So what is this all about? I dunno. Davy Jones (the great Bill Nighy imprisoned by CGI effects) has aligned himself with the East India folks. Will Turner (a bored Orlando Bloom) every once in a while thinks about the plight of this fish-faced father (Stellen Skarsgard). Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley who stands around looking incredibly fetching and gets the opportunity to show she has great gams, but not the opportunity for much more) goes to Singapore to convince a pirate played by Chow Yun-Fat (Need larger DVD sales in the Orient, do we?) to help her rescue Jack, but from what no one seems to know. Like I said, the movie really doesn't make much sense. Especially in a scene when everyone seems surprised when the East India bad guys show up. But wasn't Singapore in reality transformed from a small fishing outpost by the East India Trading Company?

Fortunately it does have Geoffrey Rush to chew up the scenery. He seems to be the only actor who realizes this whole affair should be treated as a lark.

I have already mentioned the film's running time. The first two films reminded me of a Disney ride in other ways as well--long waits in a line for a few minutes of fun. The first films were punctuated by fun set pieces that broke up what exposition there was. This one is all exposition leading up to a furious 30-minute sea battle as its climax, followed by a silly little bit tacked on to the end that tries and fails to recapture the original Jack Sparrow personna. All the Pirates moves seemed to overstay their welcome, but this one becomes boorish at a point where the timer on my DVD player told me I still had more than an hour and a half running time left.

I will say this. The special effects are special. I especially admired the atmosphere created in the Singapore scenes and the one where all the pirates gather like the heads of Mafia families. But overall the movie is a mess and it's just not fun.

Grade: C